Last Updated 6/6/2010

Are You a Biker?

 

After riding for some 35 years and owning more bikes than I can count, I am still a little confused when someone asks me the question, "Are you a biker?"

 

Do I ride? Yes. Do I own a motorcycle? Yes. Do I saddle up often? Yes, usually daily. Is riding a motorcycle the most important thing I do? Yes, right behind being with my family and making a living.

 

There are many definitions for real biker. Many riders think being a biker means that you ride a scooter constantly and probably don't even own a car. Some think that only Harley riders are real bikers, while others believe that being a club "1%'er" is the key to the biker title.

 

I've also heard guys say things like, "Real bikers ride in the rain." Well, I guess I'm not a real biker because I drive my cage when it's raining. But I consider that an intelligence issue.

 

I also hear conversations that if you have a good job and make great money, somehow you have been disqualified from being a real biker because you are now a yuppie or a R.U.B. (rich urban biker). Well, I plead guilty again because I have a pretty good job, and I do okay. I guess I've lost points again on the real biker scale.

 

Do tattoos, outrageous haircuts or earrings get you closer to the Holy Grail of real bikerhood? How about the folks who ride sport bikes, Gold Wings or trikes? Are they real bikers? Can a Gold Winger ever become a real biker? According to many so-called experts, once you get a Gold Wing, you get busted back down to Private. Zero points on the real biker scale. What happens to a real biker if he suddenly loses his mind and -- God forbid --buys a British bike?

 

I'm sure many of you are a little like me and wonder what makes a biker and whether or not we qualify. Do I think like a biker? Do I look like a biker? Do I have to dress for work like I dress when I'm riding my scoot to be a real biker? Do I make too much money to be a real biker? Do I have to put bike parts into the dishwasher to be a real biker? Can I take my scoot to the dealership for an oil change and still keep my Real Biker Card?

 

Recently, as I drove home from work, I came across a young guy pushing his Honda cruiser down a country road. After stopping to investigate, I went home and got my trailer and some tie-downs and came back to help this guy get his scooter home in one piece. It was apparent early on that he wasn't a "true biker," that is, an experienced biker. I didn't know the exact definition of true biker, but I knew he somehow didn't qualify. He would need to serve some time before applying for his Real Biker Membership Card.

 

After we got to his house and unloaded his bike, he offered payment for my services, and I refused. He thanked me and then proceeded to tell me how he had bought the Honda to go to Sturgis with friends and how wonderful the experience had been. He went into his house and got some photos of his trip to show me. He explained how exciting the whole biker experience had been, how friendly the biker community was, and how surprised he was to feel so welcome. He said he had recently gone through a divorce and the Sturgis experience had rejuvenated him, served as a sort of therapy.

 

 

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